Editing and Proofreading
Leave President Trump Alone to Do His Darn Job, Said the Democrat
Now, my mom lived long enough to see President Obama get elected. Yes, I mainly voted for Obama because he is African-American or Black or whatever. I voted for Clinton because she’s a woman. Why do you pick candidates? Because they can do a good job? They might get shot, stupid, especially if they do a good job, so the killer can get famous. You don’t know what they can do. Mom missed President Trump. Hey, wait a minute, though. I’m not saying I like Trump or hate Trump, but think about it. That’s a hard job, and every time he does something, people think they have the right to criticize him, like firing people. Every time he fires somebody now, it gets reported in the news. Now when he was running Trump Tower and everything else, he’d say, “You’re fired,” and they would go home. He became so good at it, they asked him to run a show called “Celebrity Apprentice.” Remember tuning in to that, guys? That show made millions of dollars for NBC, and all he did was say, “You’re fired,” and they would leave. They would get famous for that. Omarosa? You know who she is from that show! This is how you spell her name, and you know how to say it. Now, though, every time he fires somebody, he makes the news. That’s not fair.
And how did he become President in the first place? It’s genius, don’t you think? Russia tried to get a more Westernized guy for themselves, Gorbachev, but they ended up breaking up the Soviet Union for that mess. Trump went to them and said, “Hey, guys, help me be President, and we can be friends.” They have The Bomb, guys! And you are messing with him, trying to get mad at him for talking to Putin, wondering what they are up to. He’s trying to tell him not to attack us with bombs! That’s a good thing! It’s not like they are going to do anything else. Trump will be the first to say that communism isn’t going to work here. Making everyone do their job so everyone will be fed and housed? That’s crazy! How many people passed by the very, very disabled guy who got my five dollars in the Walmart parking lot the other day? I told him, “Well, I’m buying cat food,” and he laughed. I was kidding, but that is actually serious. It’s not even legal for that man to ask for money, guys, but I told him about the 211 number to call that tells people how to get stuff, not money, for poor people. He nodded. He already knew that. If communism had worked, if people were not generally greedy, he would have had medical care and enough food to take care of himself. But we have to have STUFF. Why do we pay a dollar to win a million or more? Guys, we spend a million and one when we have a million dollars, trying to buy happiness. My cats cost money. I could get free cats, but they needed rabies shots and had to be spayed. But some people do the shots for free or at low cost. And they’re cats in the first place. Garrison Keillor said that cats are proof that not everything in nature has a use. Dogs can be trained to do a million things. They can save lives a hundred different ways. Seeing eye dog? It’s not seeing eye cat. You don’t even train cats to use the litter box. That’s an instinctual thing against predators. Trump is like a cat, saying, “You’re fired,” when he feels like it, and he made millions of dollars doing that. Leave him alone!
Why are you bothering people while they are at work? Do you stop your minister in the middle of a sermon and say, “Excuse me, what was that verse you just said? I want to look it up later.” Do you stop a surgeon in the middle of your heart surgery and say, “Hey, is this going to leave a big scar? I want to go to the beach.” So leave the President alone. He’s trying to do his job. Speaking as someone whose only successful job is as a volunteer comedian, doing it all of my life, that a job, especially 24/7 like the presidency, is hard to do. Staying employed is a hard job, believe someone who knows. He might lose his job and a nice house in 2 years. That’s not enough time to plant a nice garden. Let him do his job the best way he knows how, okay? Thanks. Now, Mr. Trump, sir, about my student loans. Come on, help me out here.